dick longer than the game of thrones opening credits
(Source: iraffiruse, via vivlfy)
today i heard 2 kids talking about buying fake IDs after school and so i started eavesdropping cuz u know thats big kid stuff and then one was like “yeah but is all this really worth it like im pretty sure the fake IDs cost more than the fish we r gonna buy”
to buy fish at petco u have to be 18 or older
they were going to get fakes to buy fish
The real reason fake ids are a thing
"You know, ever since I first met him, I always thought, ‘Man, I hope I don’t mess this up.’ Because that’s what I do. I mess things up. But you know what I never thought? I never thought ‘I hope this doesn’t mess me up’."
- (via wanduring)
(Source: wordsthat-speak, via vivlfy)
people who exercise in order to get rid of period cramps are the ones surviving the apocalypse.